18 weeks, y'all!
Remember when I said everyone was lying about things getting better in the second trimester? I would like to recant that statement. Things are better. I'm not nauseous (as often), and I can actually stay up past 9:30pm (alllll the way 'til 10:30 now). I've had some mild headaches, but they're manageable.
The other thing is, I've started to gain weight. Having been fat for over two decades this doesn't necessarily freak me out. I mean, it's not like I'm not holding myself to some impossible standard of thinness. However, I do take seriously the statistics linking obesity to higher rates of gestational diabetes and other complications during pregnancy. I did a ton of research on this when I first got pregnant, because I was really worried about it. I realized that I had to find out concrete numbers, because there seems to be a lot of fear mongering going on for big women. Without boring you with a bunch of numbers, let's just say that the vast majority of women, fat or otherwise, have healthy normal pregnancies and babies.
So at my last prenatal visit when my CNM told me that I was gaining weight too quickly, I kinda gave her the side eye. I've gained 7 pounds. I asked her how it was possible that I only gain 20 pounds during this whole pregnancy when (according to the book they gave me) the baby, fluids, placenta and all that other baby stuff weighs 20-25 pounds? You're essentially asking me to lose weight. She said that large women have extra weight already so they don't need to gain anything. She asked if I'd like to be referred to a nutritionist, and I don't think I'm being unreasonable when I say that someone should give me an award for not telling that lady to go fuck herself. Listen lady. I can't drink wine. My back hurts. I'm finally capable of eating something other than saltines and ramen noodles! Sleep, my best friend in the world, is now hit or miss. I have constant anxiety about the fact that having a baby is one of the very few things in the world that a person can do that can never be undone. Ever. If I want a piece of chocolate cake, I'm going to eat it, and if you don't like it - TOUGH. That doesn't mean I've forgotten those statistics. It means I make it to the gym a few times a week for aqua aerobics classes. It means I drink plenty of water. It means I take care of myself, but I also allow myself to indulge in food when I would like, within reason. I think me and Baby McCall are gon' be alright.
Now one thing that I was sort of worried about being a fat woman is that I wasn't going to look pregnant. I wanted the baby bump you see in the movies. They look so cute. I'm fearing I'm just going to look fatter, not pregnant. Lately, Baby McCall has been pushing my fat up and out which is making me look fatter, but also kinda pregnant. Maybe too pregnant. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers. Don't judge this quick photo I snapped in my hotel room below.
Speaking of Baby McCall. We have (drumroll please) a baby girl!!!! I'm not naming any names (I am pointing at my wife) but some people couldn't wait until our 20 week ultrasound and made us an appointment for a quick peek at Peek-a-Boo two weeks ago. I went along with it mostly because I really just wanted to see the baby. I get kinda of worried between doc appointments about whether everything is ok in there. The wife was a little disappointed, because she wanted a boy, but I think we're both glad that she seems to be progressing really well. Oh, and this is Baby McCall!
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